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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/22494970">Trauma</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Awkward_Bookworm/pseuds/Awkward_Bookworm'>Awkward_Bookworm</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Rey and Ben Deserve Better [5]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst and Fluff and Smut, Ben Solo Lives, Ben Solo Needs A Hug, Ben Solo is a Mess, F/M, Married Life, Married Sex, Post-Canon Fix-It, Post-Trost Arc, Redeemed Ben Solo, Reylo - Freeform, Shower Sex, Trost Arc Spoilers, how it should have ended</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-01-31</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-01-31</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-18 07:55:38</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Explicit</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>2,718</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/22494970</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Awkward_Bookworm/pseuds/Awkward_Bookworm</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>“It’s just a sprained ankle, Ben,” she persisted. “You shouldn’t be as upset about my ankle as if I’d died or something.”</p><p>There was a heavy pause before he answered. His words were so quiet that she hardly heard them.</p><p>“But, Rey, you did die. I held your… your corpse... in my arms,” he choked, his voice giving out. </p><p>[An alternate ending to TROS in which Ben Solo doesn't use all his stupid life force saving Rey and actually lives.]</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Rey/Ben Solo</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Rey and Ben Deserve Better [5]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1617067</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>10</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>154</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Trauma</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>So what would have happened if TROS ended with Ben NOT DYING? </p><p>Hopefully, something like this. lol.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The forest flashed by as Rey sped through it on foot. Dodging all the trees and traps, she approached a deep ditch with a log thrown across for speedier travel. She used her lightsaber to cut through some brush and vines, and hopped lightly onto the log, catching her balance, and then running across.</p><p>Ahead, she would need to avoid the laser blasts from her training droid, and Rey readied herself, getting into position naturally. But as the droid began the routine, Rey heard rustling beside her. There was a second droid she hadn’t accounted for. </p><p>Did he make another one? She thought. But Rey didn’t have long to dwell on it because it started shooting too, and she maneuvered her saber around almost gracefully as she defended herself. </p><p>Rey began to back up and contemplated what to do next briefly. She would need a whole new plan to move along the course. As she took another step back, she didn’t feel solid ground beneath her foot, just air. For a split second, her heart froze, and then she fell into the ditch, hitting the floor of the forest hard, and knocking the breath out of her. </p><p>Rey groaned and heard the droids move away, no longer sensing their opponent. She sat up and tried to dust the dirt out of her hair. Then she looked at her leg, where most of the pain was. She must have landed on it. Rey touched her ankle gingerly and winced. Yeah, it definitely hurt there. </p><p>She waited a few minutes, and then decided she had experienced worse pain in the past. Better to just suck it up and get back home. </p><p>Oh, great, she thought. Ben was going to be pissed. He always hated it when she got hurt and complained about her doing these training courses alone. But Rey was determined to get stronger. She wanted to be ready for when the young padawans began coming, and if she couldn’t handle two stupid droids, then she couldn’t take herself seriously. </p><p>She stood, putting all her weight on her good foot, and then tried placing her other on the ground. A sharp pain flashed through her leg, and Rey immediately sunk back down to the ground, cradling her ankle. </p><p>“Okay,” she said to herself. “Let’s just think this through… I can sit here all night until I can walk on this foot and Ben loses his mind wondering where I am. Or I could drag myself back home which would probably be even more painful than this is already.”</p><p>She didn’t want to acknowledge the last option. “…Or I could call him to come get me with a Force connection.” She hesitated. “No, nope. Not an option.”</p><p>She was a grown woman and could take care of herself. Rey sighed and looked around. What to do.</p><p> </p><p>About an hour later, Rey was out of the forest and hobbling home. She was hoping she could sneak in and get in the shower before Ben caught her, but it seemed like today was just not her lucky day. </p><p>He was outside training, the blue lightsaber illuminating his skin. His hair was pushed back from his forehead and damp from sweat. Apparently, he didn’t find it necessary to wear a shirt today either, because he had discarded it on the ground nearby. </p><p>Rey flushed, trying not to focus on his muscular chest and abs. That was a recipe for disaster. </p><p>She tried to slink by, but Ben hooked his lightsaber on his belt and grabbed his shirt off the ground. </p><p>“Rey, you’re later than usual,” he said, using his shirt like a towel to wipe his face. Rey smiled, hoping he couldn’t see the pain on her face.</p><p>“Well, the course was different,” she said. Ben grinned.</p><p>“You said you wanted more of a challenge,” he replied, eyes drifting down. Oh no. he was going to notice how dirty and disheveled she was. </p><p>“Fair point,” she conceded. “I’m going to wash off,” she added. </p><p>Ben narrowed his eyes. She began to walk away, putting as little pressure on her foot as she could without being too obvious. He stopped her, grabbing her arm.</p><p>“You’re hurt,” he said, cutting right through her façade. Rey whipped around defensively. </p><p>“I’m not!” </p><p>Ben cocked his head suspiciously and before she could stop him, he was in her mind. Ben dropped his shirt on the ground and sighed. </p><p>“Ben, I told you to stop reading my thoughts without my permission!” she started, but it was too late. He’d already seen the fall and was scooping her up into his arms. She squeaked at the sudden altitude. He was so tall.</p><p>“Sorry,” he said unapologetically. She glared at him. “But I told you to stop lying to me,” he answered, calmly kicking open the front door and walking in. </p><p>“Because I knew you’d overreact,” she said without thinking. Ben looked angry, and she wished she’d chosen her words better. She knew better than anyone what she meant to him, and that he would do anything for her. </p><p>“Okay, I’m sorry,” she muttered. Ben laid her on the couch and propped up her leg. </p><p>“I just wish you would have called me when you fell,” he said, controlling his voice. </p><p>“I’m sorry,” she repeated. “I was… embarrassed.”</p><p>Ben huffed, but she had earned a small smile. He grabbed a kit nearby and was focused on her leg. Rey cupped his face in her hands and pulled his face up so they were looking at each other. She needed him to answer her. </p><p>“Ben,” she whined. “Please?”</p><p>He sighed. “I’m not mad, Rey. I’m just upset that you’re hurt. You know I don’t like it when you’re in pain. And…”</p><p>“And?”</p><p>He tried to look away, but she held his face. </p><p>“And I just hope next time you’ll tell me instead of dragging yourself back home like this.”</p><p>Rey bit her lip forcing his eyes to drift there too. </p><p>“I promise I won’t drag myself home next time,” she said slowly. Ben was still gazing at her lips though, and he inclined forward. </p><p>“Mmhm,” he answered vaguely.</p><p>“Are you even listening to me?” Rey grumbled. </p><p>“No,” he said honestly. Then he kissed her, pushing her back against the couch and slipping his tongue into her mouth. He rested his hands on either side of her hips, and Rey moaned, sliding her hands into his hair. She tried to readjust herself to get a better angle, but a throbbing pain ran up her leg again.</p><p>Ben pulled away quickly, looking guilty, and slid his hand down her leg, finding the source of her pain. “Are you okay?” he asked, concerned. Rey winced, but nodded. </p><p>“I’m just going to heal it,” he said resolutely. Rey grabbed his wrist. </p><p>“No! There’s no point in wasting your energy like that. It’s just a sprain, Ben!” </p><p>Ben looked torn. </p><p>“Just use the medicine kit,” she begged. “It’ll be better by tomorrow.”</p><p>Ben massaged her ankle slowly, considering her suggestion. Why did he always have to be so stubborn? Rey made a mental note to ask Leia later if he was like this as a child too. </p><p>“If I promise to call you if I’m hurt again, will you use the stupid kit?” she pleaded.  </p><p>Ben smiled timidly. “Would you really do that, though?”</p><p>“Gosh, YES, Ben. If it makes you feel better.”</p><p>Ben considered it for a moment, and then opened the kit. He pulled out a bacta patch and cleaned her ankle before applying it there. Rey sighed, feeling a little better already. </p><p>“Thank you,” she said quietly. </p><p>He nodded wordlessly, putting the kit away. When he was done, Ben took a good look at her and Rey blushed. They had only been living together for a few weeks after the end of the war, and they were still awkward when it came to expressing their feelings and being intimate. </p><p>“You brought a lot of the forest back with you,” he observed. Her flush deepened. </p><p>“But I got back okay, didn’t I?” she countered. Ben rolled his eyes, but he was smiling. </p><p>“You don’t have to convince me that you’re strong or capable, Rey. But sometimes it’s okay to ask for help,” he said respectfully. </p><p>“Now that you mention it,” she said slowly, “I could use your help with something else.”</p><p>He raised his eyebrows a little. “Yeah?”</p><p>Rey swallowed but only felt more nervous. “Um, I could really use a shower right now… but I can’t really stand?”</p><p>Ben’s ears turned bright red and he nodded. He cleared his throat awkwardly and lifted her up bridal style. Rey clung to his neck as he carried her into their bedroom and sat her on the bed. </p><p>He unbuckled her belt and started pulling off her shirt. </p><p>“Ben!” she squeaked, clasping her chest. He raised his eyebrows, surprised. </p><p>“What?” he asked innocently. </p><p>“I can, I can undress myself,” she explained awkwardly. A slow smile spread across his face, and he sat back on the bed, watching her. </p><p>“Sure,” he said. And then under his breath, “Like I haven’t undressed you before…”</p><p>Was he just going to sit there and stare? Suddenly her body felt really hot. Rey kicked him with her good leg and he actually laughed and grabbed her foot. Pulling her down until she was on her back, Ben climbed over her.</p><p>“This is not fair,” she whispered. Ben chuckled. </p><p>“Do you want me to stop?” he asked. What a stupid question, she thought. He raised one brow. “Had to ask,” he defended. </p><p>“Ben,” she whined. “Stop reading my thoughts! How many times—?”</p><p>He pulled her shirt off and kissed her. Slowly, he ran his hands over her breasts and squeezed, making her gasp. Then he found her pants, and soon those were off too. Rey broke the kiss and stroked his chest, her complaints all but forgotten. </p><p>Their lips brushed together as she teased him. She tugged on his belt playfully, and his breath became ragged when she opened his pants and began dragging them down with her thighs. </p><p>“Reyyy,” he groaned pleadingly. Rey giggled at how quickly he’d become undone by her.</p><p>“Come on, Ben, you need to stay focused if you’re going to help me shower,” she complained. He seemed to have completely forgotten about the shower, and Rey laughed at his expression. “Someone is way too excited,” she added lightheartedly, tapping her finger on his lips. </p><p>Ben steadied himself and pulled her off the bed, throwing off the last of their clothes, and lifted her into the shower, holding her injured leg firmly against his own thigh. Rey turned the knob until the water was warm and steam rose off the floor. They let the water run down their bodies and Ben moved very close to Rey, nearly pinning her to the wall. </p><p>Her breaths were extremely uneven, but he pulled some soap back from behind her and Rey told herself to calm down. She thought he was going to hand it to her, but instead, Ben began rubbing the soap on her body, making her pulse double. They’d never done anything like this before. </p><p>Their eyes locked and Rey grabbed the soap, unable to handle the pressure. “I can finish,” she said, her voice coming out in a whisper. Ben supported her leg as she cleaned herself and Rey tried not to pay attention to his enormous erection. </p><p>When she was done, Ben replaced the soap and pushed back some of her hair, kissing her. Rey kissed back eagerly and wrapped her arms around his neck. He took the cue and hoisted her up by the hips. Rey draped her legs around his hips and ran her hands through his now-glistening hair. </p><p>Ben groaned and lowered his mouth to her neck, licking the water off her burning skin with his tongue. “Ohhh,” she gasped. “Wow.” </p><p>He started sucking and biting, undoubtedly leaving red marks on her neck and started traveling lower, his hands tightening on her hips. Water ran down his shoulders and back as he sucked on her breast, and Rey whimpered. She could feel a tight ball of desire forming between her legs. </p><p>“Ben,” she begged. </p><p>“Mhm?” he answered, raising his face back to hers and kissing her feverishly. </p><p>“Ben, please…”</p><p>His chest was heaving, eyes dilated. He nodded, trying to find the right position. It was harder standing up, and as they were both drenched, that wasn’t making it any easier. He pushed her back against the wall a little more firmly, and adjusted himself, one hand on the wall, the other holding her up. </p><p>Then he pushed in, and Ben moaned loudly. Rey’s breath caught as he pressed all the way in, and then started rocking against her. Rey buried her face in his neck and groaned in pleasure as he pumped his hips. </p><p>He was so slick because of the running water, and Ben picked up the pace, causing them both to pant and whine. </p><p>“R-Rey,” he stammered. “Oh, fuck…”</p><p>Rey couldn’t answer; his thrusts were deep and powerful, pushing all the air out of her. Her hands slid down to his back, and she dragged her nails all the way from his shoulder blades to his waist. </p><p>Ben grunted and readjusted their position so he could thrust faster. He buried his face in her neck as he worked and started murmuring. Rey couldn’t understand everything but got the general gist of love and affection. </p><p>She moaned his name, embarrassingly, unable to stop and felt they were both close to the end.</p><p>“You’re so perfect,” he managed, breath shallow, and kissed her passionately before making a final upward plunge. </p><p>They both trembled and Rey was overwhelmed by a surge of pleasure. For a good minute, her mind was blank as the sensation seized her, eventually coming back down, quivering. </p><p> </p><p>Once they were toweled off and dressed, Ben carried Rey to the table and let her sit down. Her face was still a little pink as he prepared dinner before joining her to eat. They dined in comfortable silence for a few minutes before Rey worked up the courage. </p><p>“Ben,” she said questioningly. He looked up and nodded. “I promise to tell you when I’m hurt, but you need to make a promise too,” she insisted. </p><p>“What’s that?” he asked. </p><p>“I know you’re just worried because you love me,” she said carefully, “but you have to learn to let me get hurt sometimes.”</p><p>Ben frowned, carefully considering her words.</p><p>“It’s just a sprained ankle, Ben,” she persisted. “You shouldn’t be as upset about my ankle as if I’d died or something.”</p><p>There was a heavy pause before he answered. His words were so quiet that she hardly heard them.</p><p>“But, Rey, you did die. I held your… your corpse... in my arms,” he choked, his voice giving out. </p><p>This wasn’t where she wanted the conversation to go, but it was too late. His breathing was heavy as Rey flew out of her chair, oblivious to the pain, and settled in his lap. She cradled his face and kissed him until he caught his breath.  </p><p>“I’m sorry,” she whispered. “It’s okay. I’m here.”</p><p>Ben sighed finally and placed his hands on her arms. His smile was pained, but sincere. </p><p>“I know you’re right though,” he said with some difficulty, “so I’m going to try.”</p><p>Rey’s eyes widened. After what he just said, she wasn’t expecting him to be so level-headed.</p><p>“Take your time,” she whispered. “I’m sorry for even asking now,” she admitted. </p><p>“No,” he said firmly. “Don’t be sorry. You’re right. I am…overreacting. Because I saw…”</p><p>He couldn’t finish, and Rey kissed him tenderly. “I’m never leaving you alone again,” she promised. He nodded, his breathing unsteady. “Now you’re stuck with me,” she said with a little laugh, prodding his shoulder. </p><p>Ben took laughed a little and looked at her wrap. “How’s your ankle?” he asked. </p><p>“Much better now,” she said. </p><p> “Good. Are you done eating?” </p><p>She nodded suspiciously, unsure of where this was going. </p><p>“Good,” he said, and he wrapped his arms around her and stood up, lifting her as if she was weightless. </p><p>“Then I think we have some unfinished business,” he said suggestively, heading for the bedroom, making Rey’s heart skip.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>They're just so perfect for each other that I can't stop writing about them!! </p><p>I hope you enjoyed the story and would love to hear your thoughts in a comment :)</p></blockquote></div></div>
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